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(no subject) [Dec. 28th, 2011|01:16 am]

went to see The Lion King at the Hippodrome in Baltimore tonight with KtD. It was a magnificent show. it touched me so much more since Simba's father dies. It was emotional for Katie and I. And I never grasped pain she has experienced with the loss of her Dad until I've lost mine. I was so moved by the show I really wanted a momento. And they had a nice Simba mask ornament that i plan on treasuring forever. It represents this time I'm suffering from loss, support from KtD and her gift of buying the tickets and beginning of some more Christmas tree ornaments.

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(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2011|08:09 pm]

Exhausted today. Although I am excited because Lion King is coming up soon. Me and KtD have been waiting since October maybe.

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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2011|09:37 pm]

Ant just put up Christmas lights on the house. And I put up the tree and other decor. It looks really nice. It feels cozy around here.


Gina and Jesse signed the lease on their new apartment in Laurel Pines. I wish them all the best. I should help them move this weekend. Now renters will hopefully move into dad's house.


I miss my Dad. It's like my security banket (Fifi or Gaga) got ripped away and I'm exposed in the blistering cold.

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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2011|01:29 pm]

Charles and I are going to Disney in May as my Christmas gift!

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(no subject) [Dec. 1st, 2011|12:39 pm]

I can't believe he's gone. It still seems so unreal. I'm so worried about Gina and I hope depression doesn't eat her alive. My heart is saddest for her. And I can't help but think about her future and well being.

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Devastation [Nov. 30th, 2011|11:36 am]

Dad died November 10th 2011. When Nikki died I thought my life couldn't get any worse. I've neglected this journal since I've been in my new position. But now I need a place where I can be alone with my thoughts. And no one understands me better than me.

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(no subject) [May. 31st, 2011|09:48 am]
Ten Reasons Why You Should Get Your S**t Together May. 30, 2011 By Ryan O'Connell
Ryan O’Connell is a 24 year-old writer based in the East Village, New York.

1. You’re going to look old as shit in a few years if you don’t get it together. Excessive drinking and little sleep means you’re going to be channeling Chelsea Handler’s visage very soon. It’s cute to look like shit when you’re 24 because if you just put a little bit of effort in, you can make yourself cute again. “Wow, there’s youthful and fresh skin underneath all of this grime. Who knew?” That changes as you get older. Every line, every life scar starts to stick like glue and you can no longer wash a hangover off of your face with some organic soap you bought at Whole Foods when you were high.

2. In case you haven’t noticed, life is expensive. There are bills for your bills. You get charged a hundred dollars for just thinking that you have a toothache. Your job at Anthropologie is fine for now. Your expenses consist of your $400 a month rent, your $600 a month alcohol habit, and your growing dependency to Chipotle but it’s time for you to think in the long-term. What can give you benefits and health coverage? What job will pay you if you happen to get hurt or sick? Not Anthro! They’ll just give you an empire waist dress, a tofu burrito and write you a get well card.

3. It’s fun to see yourself mature! There’s always this fear that you’ll be the last person at the party. You’ll be the guy urging people to do shots when they’re like “um, no. I have to get up at six in the morning.” Don’t be That Guy. Become the guy who’s afraid of That Guy.

4. Growing up means liking yourself more and more. You’ve been with yourself long enough to feel comfortable in your own skin. Self-respect can be something that’s innate but it can also develop with age. The awful things you let people do to you when you were seventeen should make you cringe. If it doesn’t, you might still be letting them do it.

5. You can have a real relationship with someone. Your mind can handle it. “Why aren’t we fighting every second and having mind-blowing hate sex? Oh right, because I actually like them. Weird.” When you’re younger, you equate love with mind games, manipulation, and experiencing insane highs and lows. It makes sense because that’s where your head is at when you’re young. I mean, how can you love someone for real when you’re batshit insane? Growing up, however, means letting good people into your life and letting healthy relationships happen.

6. Once you understand that you don’t have to get wasted, sleep with a random, and vomit in a trashcan to have a successful Friday night, you can actually get the good kind of drunk and have the good kind of fun. When people had Walks of Shame in college, they were actually secretly happy about it. Shaming was seen as a good thing. “Wait, you hooked up with three guys, took E, and don’t know how you got home? Ugh, I’m so jealous. I wish I had gone out with you guys.”

7. You can grow up anytime you want. You can do it at 20, 25, or 40. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with age. Growing up just means deleting things and people who are bad for you. It means taking care of business, taking care of yourself, and not repeating the same mistakes. Everyone has their own growing up to do. It does not mean you have to drink Earl Grey every night, get a cat and be in bed by 11. Jesus, that would suck.

8. You can attract better friendships. F.Y.I. your party friends probably don’t give a shit about you. Have you ever seen them in the daylight? They’re not the people you call when stuff gets real anyway. They’re the people you call when you want to avoid everything that’s real. You want to have a fake time? Call your fake friends.

9. You’ll be happier. You won’t cry over something as silly as an ignored phone call, won’t walk around feeling like you could break at any moment. When you grow up, things are more steady. No more extremes. Things are just good.

10. You can stop worrying that you’re never going to get your shit together. You did it! You didn’t get swallowed up by the bad things. U R A 20-SOMETHING SURVIVOR.
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(no subject) [Jan. 18th, 2010|04:59 pm]
I've since stopped talking to Nuggs, the sex was good, but I realized I don't like him enough to put up with him.

This weekend was an average drunk-fest besides Sunday. Charles and I took the Metro downtown and met Freddy at his condo at the City Vista. We went to the remodeled American History Mueseum, it was beautiful. My favorite displayes were the collection of the locks of the president's hair. I liked the facial mold of Abraham Lincoln, and I liked display of the offerings that were left at the WWII Memorial Wall. They never throw away any momento, they keep each one archived. I thought that was really special. Then we caught a cab to Chinatown and had dinner at Tony Cheng's. The 3 of us went back to Fred's place for beers, we later met up with KTD and later on met up with Fred's ex girlfriend, Karen. We had a good time, but we stayed too late and didn't catch the last train home. So we took Fred's car and he picked it up from my house this morning. I love trips to DC!
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Random thoughts from 25-35 year olds [Sep. 4th, 2009|05:18 pm]
- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose
not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first
saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the
spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and
said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
i nstinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if
I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will
they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't
watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and
leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and
the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
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(no subject) [Sep. 3rd, 2009|08:13 pm]
This piece was presented as Kurt Vonnegut's commencement address at MIT in 1997. It's great stuff, but apparently it wasn't written or delivered by Vonnegut. It's still a beautiful piece...


Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.
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